but which rabbit-hole?

I really am the laziest blogger on the interwebs. Sometimes I just get too busy, sometimes I have a hard time deciding what to write about (Is that too personal? Should I insert the iron crowbar of propriety between my personal and professional life? Does anyone even give a shit about the swirling carnivale of light and sound in my head? Should I have just said 'Shit'? Does the punctuation go in or out when it's a single quotation mark?), and sometimes I'm just plain lazy.

I've reached a crossroads of some kind, artistically. Only, I'm not exactly sure of not only which direction to go in, but what it is exactly that needs to be decided in the first place. At the moment, I'm having trouble picking a project. I have a few ideas I've been mulling over, and of course there's always the random stuff that I never really have to think about, but gets created pretty easily and pads the shop out. Fighting with the fact the urge to make what the hell ever I want is being levied by the eternal question: But what will sell?

I have two assemblage sculptures in mind. One is inspired by time spent with an insanely talented artist that I've had the good fortune to meet briefly (and was shocked to discover that he was the very same artist that I'd loved for years and never realized it was him until after we'd already met. Ha!), and the other is inspired by the amazingly wonderful box of junk-parts he so graciously brought me. 

I'm also planning out two different photoshoots. One will be a series that tells the story of the rise and fall of a cold-war era KGB spy. The other will be a sort of carnival macabre, "something wicked this way comes," both alluring and repulsive. Is it wrong to be drawn to the strange and disturbing? Is there something bizarre and dangerous rattling around inside of me? Is that why I love Tom Waits so much?

It's recently occurred to me that I have no idea how to be a professional artist. The art part comes natural, in the way of every artist, but how to actually be one? Sometimes I make art from inside me that I love passionately, but know there's zero market value for it. What do you do with art like that? Put it in an exhibition? How the hell do you do that? How do you convince people your art is worthwhile without sounding like a pretentious tool? I ask this because I was inspired by a friend for a cheap, quick 'n' dirty little shoot that I ended up loveloveloving, but I can't imagine anyone actually wanting these prints. I'm not a tease. Here they are.

 

Just so you know, it gets slightly naughty here. Was making a pretty obvious, subtle statement about the penis as a weapon. Or something like that.

 

So yeah. What the hell am I supposed to do with these? On the one hand, I'm all about making art for art sake. I don't need other people to see or even give a shit about these to feel validated for making them. On the other hand, a girl's gotta eat. Opinions? Thoughts? Random insults?